


spoiler alert: its suga angst

by jimatoshi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:40:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22101961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jimatoshi/pseuds/jimatoshi
Summary: exactly what the title says.written for Reon for The Orange Court discord server's Secret Santa!
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	spoiler alert: its suga angst

Suga was happy.

He was.

He was happy with the new first years, as unruly as they were; happy with the returnee second years; and happy Asahi had made his way back to the team too, bringing Noya in tow. They finally had what seemed like a real team, and with 2 geniuses, they could make it far, farther than they had before.

He’s happy, but…

There was something else, too.

Ever since Kageyama joined, he was their star setter. Ever since Ennoshita returned, he’d been taking more responsibility.

It wasn’t that Suga resented them. In fact, part of him was relieved. With two setters, they had more variation in their plays, and Kageyama’s presence meant Suga’s time on court was less stressful, more fun. With Ennoshita being more responsible, Suga was free to be a bit more mischievous.

But part of him couldn’t help but feel that he was being replaced. When he thought back to Asahi calling to Kageyama for a spike, to Ennoshita forcing Noya and Tanaka to do their homework, to Daichi clutching his omamori…

This wasn’t about Suga and his stupid crush, but it also wasn’t _not_ about it. He didn’t want to confess to Daichi, and it wasn’t like he expected Daichi to never be interested in someone else. He just thought they would finish high school, fade apart, and when they met years later and Daichi was married, Suga would laugh to himself about his high school crush.

But instead there was this. The way Yui felt towards Daichi had been obvious for years, the way she looked at him gave her away immediately to everyone but Daichi himself. This obliviousness of Daichi had been Suga’s saving grace for years now, keeping him from returning Yui’s feelings, or from recognizing Suga’s own. But with Yui’s increasing boldness, Suga was afraid of losing his last foothold. No longer setter, no longer second in command, and finally losing his place, not as Daichi’s boyfriend, but as the one closest to him.

And so, unintentionally (or maybe just a bit intentionally), Suga reeled himself in. He was still dotingly fierce on the team, still practiced with all of his strength, still plotted and planned with Daichi, but now he rushed to get home instead of lingering during the walk, ~~bothered~~ coached his kouhai or studied during his lunch breaks, and generally busied himself with things that weren’t his best-friend-turned-crush, telling himself it was better for him, better for Daichi, better for Yui.

That didn’t mean he entirely avoided alone time with Daichi. They were still friends, and still led the volleyball team together. Everything was fine.

Suga was happy, and everything was fine.

* * *

They were walking back from an impromptu meeting with Ukai at Sakanoshita. It was the first time they’d been alone for more than a few minutes in probably a week, but the conversation flowed as easily as ever. Suga couldn’t even remember what he’d said, but he was nearly certain it wasn’t funny enough to warrant the amount of laughter coming from Daichi right now.

And then, the final nail in the coffin, as his laughter died down, Daichi said, not softly, but it might as well have been a whisper for the ringing in Suga’s ears:

“I’ve missed you.”

Suga stopped himself from returning the statement, opting instead to punch Daichi on the arm, “We’ve seen each other every day for the past how long, now? I think if anything, you’d be sick of seeing my face.”

Daichi chuckled again, but lighter this time, “Just been a while since we’ve talked like this, I thought maybe you’re the one tired of my face.”

He paused for a second, and then, “You haven’t been avoiding me, have you?”

That’s when it hit Suga. Shit.

“Shit.”

Had he been avoiding Daichi?

“Have I been avoiding you?”

Daichi seemed to consider his words before speaking, “Seems that way to me. Care to explain why?”

Suga had to stop himself from saying “No” and leaving it at that. He was the asshole of this situation, even if it was unintentionally, and Daichi deserved some sort of explanation.

And so he explained, how he loved Kageyama, but sometimes he resented his talent; how he was proud of Ennoshita, but sometimes he envied his maturity; and how he was so happy for the change that had come to Karasuno, but sometimes he felt like he was being left behind.

Daichi was nodding along, but Suga could see the gears turning, trying to make the connection between all of this, and himself. Suga might have been able to weave a realistic enough lie if he’d tried, but in the moment, the catharsis of letting it out was more appealing, so he decided to bite the bullet.

“It’s not just the team, either. I also felt like… you were leaving me behind.”

Daichi’s face twitched, gears still turning in his head, so Suga elaborated, or at least attempted to.

“Well, you see, that is—” Suga stopped and took a breath before starting again.

“I’ve considered myself your closest friend for a while now—” aw, Daichi nodded, that was sweet, “—and it’s just that recently. Well, Yui’s always been like that, but—” Daichi’s face twitched again at the mention of Yui’s name, wonder what that’s about, “—but, well recently it seemed like there might be something more.”

“With Yui?”

Suga nodded, before he caught himself, “Ah! I probably shouldn’t have said that, it’s not really my place, and well—”

“Suga.” Suga stopped. “Yui’s had a crush on me for ages, everyone knows that.”

“You knew??”

“Of course I know!”

“Well, you could’ve fooled me. And her, I’m pretty sure you’ve fooled her, why don’t you talk to her about it?”

Daichi shook his head as if to reset the conversation in his head, “I don’t see how this—oh.” He flushed. “You! You… you?”

Shit. This time, Suga managed to not say it out loud. Instead he just nodded. Despite Daichi’s lack of eloquence, he could tell the connection had been made. He readied himself for whatever was next, rejection, awkwardness, maybe a punch (probably not a punch, Daichi wasn’t like that… right?).

What Suga was not prepared for was laughter, so of course that’s what he got. It wasn’t ridiculing or confused, just that same lovely deep laughter that had started this whole mess in the first place.

And apparently dropping bombs was Daichi’s new hobby, because this time as his laughter died down, he said, not loudly, but it might as well have been a shout for how it startled Suga:

“I love you.”

This time, Suga didn’t stop himself from saying it back.

**Author's Note:**

> The mood being all over the place is indicative of Suga's mood also being all over the place, and is most definitely intentional, ha ha ha.
> 
> If you're here from The Orange Court, hi friend! If you're not then you should check out @theorangecourt on tumblr ;)


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